Kai and computers don't mix
by Shirosenshi Kisetsu 116
Summary: Another one shot for you! Related to my high school fic... It's rated M for a reason, swearing, suggestive stuff you know.. So if you don't like, don't read! Link and Dark Link/Kai!


This is the second of the one shots, then back to writing the chapter... I do have other stories I'll need to work on, so you might have to be patient... oh and Aya's coming over, so there's more of a delay. And when school comes... Well I might just say "Fuck the homework!" xD I wish...

Oh... I need to put a disclaimer on Twilight... And before you ask... My brother helped me with the... Well you'll know when you get there... he's 14 v.v

* * *

Kai glared at the slim silver inanimate object sitting on the coffee table.

The object remained silent, not wanting to mess with the short tempered demon.

"Link... How the hell do you open this?"

Link looked up from the book he was reading to stare at him. "You've seen me use a lap top before Kai, just move the latch things at the top to th right and push it open." He turned back to the book. _I love vampire novels..._

Kai unlatched it and opened it up. He continued to stare at it, like some unvoiced signal would turn it on.

The laptop stayed silent.

"Link...?"

Said elf stopped reading once again and stared at the shadow, trying not to grit his teeth he asked. "What Kaiten?"

"How do you turn it on?"

Link shook his head back and forth, as if hoping it would somehow rid Kai of his stupidity, but wishes rarely come true. "There should be a big button above the keyboard, press it. Now shut up, I want to see what happens to Bella."

Kai coughed out a laugh. "Isn't that book directed at teenage girls?"

"Shut up! It's well written, and Jasper's bad ass."

"I don't know about you, but I'd like to get a piece of that Jacob kid." Kai pressed the button.

The laptop finally came to life. The window's symbol appeared on the screen followed by the 'I'm alive' song.

"Did it just sing or something?"

It signed the user on automatically, making the little 'ding ding!' sound.

"Link! I think the damn thing just told me to fuck off!"

Link growled in frustration, picked up the couch cushion and then biffed it at the shadow. "It will make that sound every time you sign on you moron."

Kai sniffled and wiped away some pretend tears. "You've hurt me deeply hero..."

"Oh shut up..."

The news started on the T.V. Kai turned away from his current project to stare at the screen.

"On today's news, where going to talk about the increasing number of teenagers that have started to watch porn."

The innocent shadow tilted his head to the side. _What's porn?_

"The porn is so easy for these teens to find, that all they have to do is type in 'sex' on google, and something called sextube will pop up."

Kai clicked on the Internet icon and typed in google, then he typed in sex. When the site came up, he clicked on it.

* * *

Link was very much enjoying his book. The story line was drawing him in so deeply he almost didn't hear the disturbing noises... almost.

"_Oh yes! Ummm..."_ The voices on the computers were moaning.

Kai blinked twice, then a look of disgust fell over his face. "Ew... Is that a guy and a girl doing it?"

"_Oh yes!"_

He screamed and used the pillow that Link had thrown at him earlier to smother himself.

"Kai! What the hell are you watching?"

He stopped the attempted suicide and looked at the elf. _Like I'm gonna pass on a chance to piss him off... _"I'm watching you and Zelda fuck!"

"_Oh baby!"_

Link quickly ran over to the laptop.

Kai was back behind the pillow. "Silence the horny woman please!"

"This is all your fault! I hate you shadow!" He picked up the computer and threw it at the wall.

The woman was silenced, and peace was returned to the world.

"I'm scared for life." Well all except for Kai, who was rocking back and forth on the couch.

Link picked up his book and stared at it, no longer in the mood for reading. "Kai.. You're grounded..."

"What's that mean? Are you finally going to dress me in bondage gear, chain me to the bed and ravish my body?"

The hero gaped at him, then quickly fixed his face back into a scowl. "You have the sickest mind in the world..."

"Oh come on! You're not as innocent as everyone thinks you are!"

"Well I'm still not as bad as you..."

"Link, I'm going to pounce you in a second.."

"You wouldn't dare..." He backed away as a smirk crossed the shadows face. "Shit..."

Kai threw himself at Link.

Link dodged the attack and ran up into his room, locking the door behind him.

"One day Link, one day you will be you will be mine!"

* * *

Kai and a computer! Yes! It had to be done! . Until next time..

Zeinne!


End file.
